Hello weevils!
I hope your thoroughly enjoying your Easter with your enormous hollow chocolate eggs and your delicious roast dinners. As a bit of a champagne socialist myself, I find Easter eggs rather a huge rip off and the only form of chocolate eggs I'll be eating will be those regular sized creme eggs (or other eggs that size) but enough of my plans, I've something extremely exciting to announce!
You see, behind the curtain, I have been organising and planning a special convention where I am happy to announce that it will be soon arriving at Excel London this very year and an official date will soon be revealed so please keep your eye on all hotel vacancies within the area!
If you are able to attend, you will be able to meet me myself as well as take part in loads of different cool activities! One activity will be 'guess the criticism' where following a similar procedure to 'guess the sweets', I will place several messages which will each state something wrong with Bin Weevils into a jar and whoever can guess the closest amount of constructive criticised messages will win an exclusive "I'm a swag ranter" T-shirt signed by myself as well as a deluxe custom made Bin Weevils toilet roll so that you can really take a big s*** on Bin Weevils after all the awful features they have brought out this year!
Not only that, but I am also planning an exclusive event where sixteen lucky people who turn up to the convention dressed as an evil 55Pixels staff member will be taken in my van where we will go outside the 55Pixels headquarters in Soho and protest the heck out of the game as well as even camp in small tents outside the office at night where we will exchange the most spookiest of ghost stories revolving round the scary sky that scarily appears in the bin we know so well of!
Another exciting feature will also be the BYOX/BYOPS (Bring your own Xbox/Bring your own PlayStation) where you will be able to carry your entire Xbox One or PlayStation 4 console into the convention where you will be able to challenge me against a game of your choice (but will cost an additional £25 if you want to play FIFA against me cause I find that game utter crap and will need money in order to motivate me to play it) whilst being able to shout out bad things about Bin Weevils at the same time! Nintendo Switch and Laptops are unsupported but you are welcome to bring your desktop PC, Nintendo Wii or Atari 5200!
Furthermore, I will also be holding an exceptionally fun 'Banathon' event where I will give out a unique twitter account to everyone who attends where whoever can send the most valid criticism tweets to the Bin Weevils twitter account before getting blocked will win an exclusive dinner with me in a fancy 5* restaurant as well as being able to stop a night with me in my hotel room (please be aware that any attempt of hitting on me will result in you being temporarily thrown out and if you are under 18, your parents will be notified of your bad behaviour)! Do you have what it takes to win the Banathon?
And to top it off, I have also been able to import former Bin Weevils Moderator drewbian all the way from Finland where he will host one of the panels and share his experiences of working for the evil 55Pixels! Please be sure to show your respect at all times as failing to meet his standards will result in drewbian permanently blocking you in real-life which will thus exclude you from his exclusive Q&A, games console signing as well as not allowing you to take part in the special karaoke contest where you will be able to have a sing-off with him. I am also hoping on being able to hold a small event where were all able to splat drewbian in the face with a cream pie!
And that is just a fraction of what there is to do throughout the four days! I will also be hosting several of my own panels with Q&As and make sure to obtain your FREE mince pie on entry!
Tickets will soon be on sale. Please also remember to use the promo code 'BWSUXASS' to get a tasty 5% off your purchase! Please also be aware that all forms of crumpets are completely banned off the premises and if you are caught with the possession of any crumpets, you will be asked to leave the convention for the time being.
But other than that, I hope you are able to join the fun and get to know several other ranters who have also attended! This is going to rock!
I look forward to meeting you!
I hope your thoroughly enjoying your Easter with your enormous hollow chocolate eggs and your delicious roast dinners. As a bit of a champagne socialist myself, I find Easter eggs rather a huge rip off and the only form of chocolate eggs I'll be eating will be those regular sized creme eggs (or other eggs that size) but enough of my plans, I've something extremely exciting to announce!
You see, behind the curtain, I have been organising and planning a special convention where I am happy to announce that it will be soon arriving at Excel London this very year and an official date will soon be revealed so please keep your eye on all hotel vacancies within the area!
If you are able to attend, you will be able to meet me myself as well as take part in loads of different cool activities! One activity will be 'guess the criticism' where following a similar procedure to 'guess the sweets', I will place several messages which will each state something wrong with Bin Weevils into a jar and whoever can guess the closest amount of constructive criticised messages will win an exclusive "I'm a swag ranter" T-shirt signed by myself as well as a deluxe custom made Bin Weevils toilet roll so that you can really take a big s*** on Bin Weevils after all the awful features they have brought out this year!
Not only that, but I am also planning an exclusive event where sixteen lucky people who turn up to the convention dressed as an evil 55Pixels staff member will be taken in my van where we will go outside the 55Pixels headquarters in Soho and protest the heck out of the game as well as even camp in small tents outside the office at night where we will exchange the most spookiest of ghost stories revolving round the scary sky that scarily appears in the bin we know so well of!
Another exciting feature will also be the BYOX/BYOPS (Bring your own Xbox/Bring your own PlayStation) where you will be able to carry your entire Xbox One or PlayStation 4 console into the convention where you will be able to challenge me against a game of your choice (but will cost an additional £25 if you want to play FIFA against me cause I find that game utter crap and will need money in order to motivate me to play it) whilst being able to shout out bad things about Bin Weevils at the same time! Nintendo Switch and Laptops are unsupported but you are welcome to bring your desktop PC, Nintendo Wii or Atari 5200!
Furthermore, I will also be holding an exceptionally fun 'Banathon' event where I will give out a unique twitter account to everyone who attends where whoever can send the most valid criticism tweets to the Bin Weevils twitter account before getting blocked will win an exclusive dinner with me in a fancy 5* restaurant as well as being able to stop a night with me in my hotel room (please be aware that any attempt of hitting on me will result in you being temporarily thrown out and if you are under 18, your parents will be notified of your bad behaviour)! Do you have what it takes to win the Banathon?
And to top it off, I have also been able to import former Bin Weevils Moderator drewbian all the way from Finland where he will host one of the panels and share his experiences of working for the evil 55Pixels! Please be sure to show your respect at all times as failing to meet his standards will result in drewbian permanently blocking you in real-life which will thus exclude you from his exclusive Q&A, games console signing as well as not allowing you to take part in the special karaoke contest where you will be able to have a sing-off with him. I am also hoping on being able to hold a small event where were all able to splat drewbian in the face with a cream pie!
And that is just a fraction of what there is to do throughout the four days! I will also be hosting several of my own panels with Q&As and make sure to obtain your FREE mince pie on entry!
Tickets will soon be on sale. Please also remember to use the promo code 'BWSUXASS' to get a tasty 5% off your purchase! Please also be aware that all forms of crumpets are completely banned off the premises and if you are caught with the possession of any crumpets, you will be asked to leave the convention for the time being.
But other than that, I hope you are able to join the fun and get to know several other ranters who have also attended! This is going to rock!
I look forward to meeting you!